Another rainy day full of memories

Me desperte hoy en la cama deshecha pensando en mi primer novio P. Se me declaró (como diría mi mamá) el día de mi fiesta de 15 años con un tulipán que se murió a los 3 días (cosa que yo interpreté como una mala señal del futuro de la relación). Era alto, guapo y boy scout. Lo corté a los 5 días.

El problema era que yo estaba enamorada de su amigo R (hermano de mi mejor amiga, por cierto) y nunca fui capaz de ver a P por él mismo, sino siempre en comparación y en relación a R. Y aunque esta historia me da risa y ternura, me doy cuenta que la repito vez tras vez. Por querer mantener mis opciones abiertas dejo pasar a las personas, cerrándome puerta tras puerta y acercándome cada vez más al futuro de los gatos...

Three random things that happened today

1. a baby appeared in my Turkish coffee. I wonder what it means.

2. somebody left a full dinner in a plastic bag in my bike's basket. Was it meant for me?

3. a homeless guy walked up to me and said: I am heart broken (we all are, I'd like to reply).

A Mercedes Sosa

Mercedes Sosa, Argentinean folk songwriter died today at
74. This is one of my favorite songs.

It's one of the songs I "discovered" in my early teens
(along with Silvio, Delgadillo and such others) when I
was terribly idealistic and couldn't articulate very well
my feelings and thoughts about what I saw in the world.
Even today it moves me.

It says something like:
I only ask God not to be indifferent to the pain of others,
to not find death feeling empty and alone because I did not
do enough.  I ask him not to let me be indifferent to
injustice,not to be indifferent to war nor to the future...

Here's a video of her singing.  She has an amazing voice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIrot1Flczg

And these are the lyrics (in Spanish):

Solo le pido a Dios

Solo le pido a Dios
Que el dolor no me sea indiferente
Que la reseca muerte no me encuentre
Vacio y solo sin haber echo lo suficiente

Solo le pido a Dios
Que lo injusto no me sea indiferente
Que no me abofeteen la otra mejia
Despues que una garra me arane esta frente

Solo le pido a Dios
Que la guerra no me sea indiferente
Es un monstro grande y pisa fuerte
Toda la pobre inocencia de la gente
Es un monstro grande y pisa fuerte
Toda la pobre inocencia de la gente

Solo le pido a Dios
Que el engano no me sea indiferente
Si un traidor puede mas que unos quantos
Que esos quantos no lo olviden facilmente

Solo le pido a Dios
Que el futuro no me sea indiferente
Deshauciado esta el que tiene que marchar
A vivir una cultura diferente

-Leon Gieco

We are your wonderland

Funny how some people can just take my craziness and enjoy it.

To K & J who are such fantastic friends.

I love you very much.

Cronica de un adios

Today was a depressingly rainy day. I was tired, a bit angry at myself for staying up so late last night when I had decided not to go out, for breaking my petty little rules.

And then Gisela proposed we should have people over for wine and cheese. At first I was reluctant, but, why not? So we invited some people, bought wine and cheese (the rabbit ridge bottle is still sitting here) and had a fantastic time. It had been a long time since I laughed so hard.

And out of the blue it came to me: in a year's time I will be elsewhere. I will not be able to see these friends with just a phone call or walking over to the next building. These incredibly amazing persons who share my life each day, who are unbelievably generous with their time and open to who I am.

And I feel irrational feeling sad in advance but I cannot help it. I will miss them terribly.